Frist day at School

4 2 July 2007 Monday
It is like 10 AM and I went on the internet earlier. The guy that works at the café started to talk to me. His name is Winston. It was fun talking to him. Everyone is so nice. He asked how long I was staying here and I told him that I was leaving today, but would be at Siha for six months. We talked about how nice the language was and that I’m looking forward to learning it. He told me that if I wanted I could come back and talk with him and learn more words.

I have arrived at Siha, finally. So I cant be sure of it but I do believe that the headmaster is disappointed with me, I know that he is kind of quite, but the way that we acts and a couple of things that he said seems like it. Today when he came to pick me up at the hostel he asked me how the last 48 hours were. I told him great and listed the stuff that I did. He said that he was glad because he was a bit worried how I would fare by myself. I almost wanted to ask what he meant by that, he was with me for like what two days and only 6 hours max, and though that we really didn’t talk much. Im on another freakin contient. What did he expect, the only person I know a 1000 miles in any direction, him, whom I met only a hour or so ago and had no direct contact until I met him at the airport by a sign that said Stephanie Busch, was going to leave me alone at a hostel, with no phone, and not even in the same town as were Ill actually be. But whatever. Also Im pretty sure that I have failed his attempts to have a meaningful conservations with me, about politics and religion. My two weakest subjects, give me something about

I really didn’t not feel it necessary to explain to him what a loner I am most of the time, I know that people think that I am a social butterfly and the talking to people comes easy to me, but actually I don’t have any actually friends and it takes a lot of work for me to talk to people.

I’m also nervous about tomorrow. When my actual internship starts. I have no fuckin clue what is expected of me. I found out the other day that there kids apparently have a limited vocab in English, and that I am at a great disadvantage not knowing their language. Today I tried out a new phrase on him, his response was that it was good I was learning because I wont be able to function if I don’t. I just feel really unprepared for this internship. I mean I was just adjusting to the hostel and getting to meet people there and now I have to adjust to people here. Its frustrating. Not to mention that I have a really bad headache.
So this kind of freaked me out, when HM was showing me around the house, he kept saying its very safe, there are bars on the window, double and triple locks, watchmen making rounds, he also told me that when Im out I should lock my bedroom door. Its very safe. This is the reason I was freaked because I usually naturally assume everything is pretty safe, so when someone keep “reassuring” me I think that they are lying or saying something like ‘its safe as long as you barracked the door‘. So the first night when I was getting ready to go to bed, the wind was blowing and making noise (windows and such). With the front door, and the back door ( to the bathroom) I put filled (water) buckets and locked each door. I know that it was stupid but it helped a little bit. I also locked me room door. (that lasted for one night) and slept with my head away from the window (I never feel comfortable like that).